Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Klingon Programmer Ethics

Things overheard from Klingon programmers:

  • Perhaps it is a good day to die! I say we ship it.
  • Specifications are for the weak and timid!
  • This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
  • Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
  • What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
  • Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
  • Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
  • I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
  • A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
  • By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
  • You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
  • Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

[via Andrew Barker]

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